AN IRON BUTT TRAFFIC HANDLER

I ride a motorcycle. And I know; you wonder what that has to do with Amateur Radio. Right? I’ll get to that in a moment. However, before I do, you should know that not only do a ride a motorcycle, I am an Iron Butt rider. A few years ago, I rode my first official Saddle Sore ride; 1000 miles in 24 hours. It was a skinny J shaped course that started near Detroit and ended south of St. Louis at a Shell station in Imperial, MO. Given just a few hours to research and prepare, and I would be more than ready do it again. Only this time, I would end up on a beach on the Gulf of Mexico with my boots off and my toes in the surf. Not only would I not hesitate to do another 1000 in 24, I hope to ride a “Coast to Coast in 50” before I’m done riding. That’s right. You read it correctly. 2365.6 miles - Jacksonville to San Diego - in 50 hours! Crazy; right?

On a recent Saturday morning, as I sat drinking a cup of Kona Coffee, reading my copy of Iron Butt magazine, a thought occurred to me. If a stranger came into my home and began to nose around, they would quickly begin to wonder what kind of bizarre person lives in this house. I know my wife wonders the same thing. One look at the basket filled with magazines at the end of the couch and they would be left scratching their heads trying to figure out what kind of weirdo subscribes to both Iron Butt and QST magazines. However, I would suggest that this odd combination of reading material might not be as unlikely or unnatural as one might think.

If they were to nose around the property just a bit further, they would find boxes filled with 100’s of Radiograms beneath my radio desk above which they would see my Amateur Radio license. They would see a kerosene heater in my garage shack and try to visualize what kind of a nut-case sits in that wicker chair. They would see, less than 10 feet away from my radios, is parked my motorcycle… and they would wonder.

You see, not only am I a licensed Ham… I am an Iron Butt Ham; otherwise known as a Traffic Handler. Not just a Traffic Net Checker-in-er, but I bona fide, real life, Traffic Handler. I ride my radio where but only a few Hams ride… down the long lonely highway of Traffic Handling. It is a ride which requires careful attention. It is a ride which requires adherence to a list of very specific guidelines. It is a ride which is at times lonely. It is a ride that can become difficult, tiring and burdensome. It is a ride which will test your abilities. It is a ride which you will ride when other Hams have already parked their radios. It is a ride which will cause family and friends, and even other Hams to ask, “Why?” “Why do you do it?”

I wish more people understood the joy of long distance motorcycle riding. I wish more people understood the satisfaction of sending, relaying, and delivering Radiograms. But alas, I should not expect that to happen anytime soon. While sipping my coffee, I realized that one of the reasons that I am drawn to do much of what I do in life is because not many do it. As much as I try to promote Radiogram traffic handling to others… as much as I am frustrated by the lack of response to my efforts to promote the NTS… I fear success. It may sound strange, but in a twisted logic sort of way, I fear that if all my promotion were to be successful, I might sadly set down my microphone and go find something else to do. If I were to succeed, it would, I’m afraid, be a bittersweet success.

As Iron Butt riders will attest, it is very, very difficult to complete a sanctioned Iron Butt ride in a group. As members of the Brass Pounders League, and those like myself who are not, will attest, it ain’t easy to get 500 points a month. Though there are many riders all over the world that complete qualifying rides every year, most do so alone. It is, I believe, this fact that they are doing something that is difficult, disciplined and solitary that drives them to do it. It is the long lonely stretch of abandoned highway that seduces them to ride on. No one paid me to ride a Saddle Sore ride. And, no one pays me to pass Radiograms. I am beginning to understand that I am a NTS guy for many of the same reasons I am an Iron Butt guy.

Here is your invitation to check in to a Traffic Net and join us Hams that live on Crazy Lane in Amateur Radio Heights. But please, though everything I’ve experienced to date tells me I don’t have to worry… Please… not too many of you. Just a few. I don’t want to one night sit down in front of my radio, check in to my favorite Traffic Net and think, where did all these people come from? I don’t want to have to lay down my pen, push my stack of blank Radiograms aside, turn around, get on my bike and ride out of the Shack, and go find something else to satisfy that itch down inside of myself that can only be quelled on lonely, forgotten highways.

Traffic Handlers are an odd group… of which I am happy to be a part. Iron Butt Traffic Handlers may be even stranger still. If you decide to ride with me, whether on your bike or your radio, just remember that I warned you. A lot of people will look at you as though you are crazy. But you will have the satisfaction of knowing you are doing something that others do not understand and therefore do not enjoy… and, that knowledge… obtained in the solitude of your ham radio shack while traveling the sometimes lonely NTS highway may in and of itself be your greatest and only reward.

‘Till we one day meet, tired and worn out at the counter of some lonely deserted road side diner or on a traffic net… 73, my Iron Butt Traffic Handler friend. 73.

HF EARS

Those who would suggest that they can "bone up" on traffic handling apparently have never handled traffic on an HF Net when conditions are BAD. When you are in the middle of a triple or quadriple relay of a Radiogram, trying to accurately pick a station up out of the QRMary or QRNancy... or when it band conditions make it sound like the station is on Jupiter... it is then that the only people passing traffic are those who have spent the hours it takes to develop HF EARS! And I can testify from experience... HF EARS are a developed skill!!! Those who think they can wait for the schummer to hit the fan and then just sit down and pass a couple pieces of traffic better hope that they are on a local 2 meter Repeater Net and all stations are located within 10 miles of the Repeater.

KNOWING WHEN TO STOP

Last night was going a very "normal" 4 Nets Tuesday night in my shack. To get my night started, I checked into our Michigan Section Net at 7pm on 3.952 Mh. Conditions were not good, but I did manage to send 2, receive 2.

During the following 90 minute break from the radio I enjoyed one of my favorite
comfort foods before I then got back to the shack for my second Net duty of being NCS for the 75 Meter Interstate Traffic Net.

At the beginning of the Net band conditions still had not improved much; fortunately they would improve, but not quick enough to matter. However, as stations began to report it was rapidly becoming obvious it was going to be a very busy traffic night. As I continued to take check-ins, I was trying to get listed traffic organized. A plan was NOT easily coming together.

I quickly got a couple of pieces of traffic moving between 2 stations, which gave me an opportunity to slip off frequency for a few seconds to look for an open spot to perhaps move stations off Net frequency. My hopes of being able to get double use of our time were in vain... 9pm on 75 meters is jammed! We were going to have to do it the slow way.

Band conditions were slowly improving, but traffic between Maryland and Missouri required full relays with an Illinois station in the middle. Nothing was going to be easy.

The particulars of listed traffic combined with the unavailability of open frequencies were not being "kind" to me. Band conditions weren't helping me. And I had liaison stations that were short time.

About 40 minutes into the Net, while traffic was being passed, I checked into my 3rd Net of the evening, a local 2 meter Motor City Radio Club Net, but my brain was still plugged into the Traffic Net, so I screwed up the Club call substituting one of the Traffic Net Manager's call instead. This was the point where I realized I was
getting weary.

It was about at this point that I discovered I had excused on of my liaison stations too soon. I had a piece of traffic still on the list for which I now had no receiving station... ARRRRGHHHH.

Brain weariness was getting worse...

Because NTS stations are typically such a patient and great group of people with
which to work, I was able to finish the Net at 63 minutes with only 1 piece of traffic remaining. I was glad to be done with the Net. I glanced up at the clock and saw that I had 10 minutes 'till the start of the 4th and final Net of my normal Tuesday night... and I was tired.

It had been a long day at work and a long evening at the radio... and I was tired. It was at this point that I realized I had probably done the good that I was going to do. And then... I made the decision. I would not be checking into my 4th and final Net of the evening. I turned off the radios and the kerosene heater. I told my dog Pepper to "come on", and I turned off the lights and called it finished.

My point in sharing my evening with you is that I think it is important to know when to step away from the radio desk. In an emergency situation, it will be important to know when you become too tired and brain weary to do the job accurately and well. Others very likely would have been able to keep on going, but I had to recognize my own mental limitations. Knowing when to stop, or at the least when to take a break, may be as important as knowing when to begin.

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR NTS TRAFFIC OPS

This is intended for your entertainment. Hope you enjoy. KC

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR NTS TRAFFIC OPS

1) THOU SHALL HAVE NO OTHER DUTIES BEFORE YOU THAN TO DO EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER AS A LISCENCED AMATEUR RADIO OPERATOR TO SERVE THE PUBLIC GOOD WITHIN THE FRAMEWORK OF THE NATIONAL TRAFFIC SYSTEM. (I know that this may seem extreme; after all, we have jobs and families. Right? But, we're having fun here, so… What are jobs for, except to buy more radios and build bigger and taller antennas with which we serve the public good?)

2) ONCE YOU HAVE VOLUNTEERED TO TAKE A PIECE OF RADIOGRAM TRAFFIC, YOU BECOME RESPONSIBLE FOR ITS ACCURATE AND SAFE HANDLING UNTIL IT IS EITHER RELAYED OR DELIVERED. THOU SHALT KEEP A RECORD OF ALL TRAFFIC THAT HAS BEEN INTRUSTED TO YOUR CARE. THOU SHALT NOT KILL A RADIOGRAM.

3) THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE (UNTRUE TO THE ORIGINAL) RADIOGRAMS. THOU SHALL DO EVERYTHING TO PROTECT AND PRESERVE THE CONTENT OF THE ORIGINAL RADIOGRAM. YOU MUST SEE TO IT THAT THE RADIOGRAM TEXT IS DELIVERED EXACTLY AS IT WAS ORIGINATED TO ITS INTENDED RECIPIENT AS RAPIDLY AS POSSIBLE.

4) THOU SHALT NOT CONCERN THYSELF WITH ANYTHING BUT THE LEGALITY OF THE CONTENT OF A RADIOGRAM. WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE MESSAGE IS NOT TO BE CONSIDERED. THOU SHALL NOT COVET "REAL" RADIOGRAMS.

5) THOU SHALT NOT MISUSE THE NAME OF THE NTS. THOU SHALL ALWAYS BE AS POSITIVE AND OPTIMISTIC AS POSSIBLE IN ALL YOUR COMMUNICATIONS CONCERNING THE NTS.

6) THOU SHALT BE COURTEOUS AND COMPASSIONATELY OFFICIAL IN ALL YOUR COMMUNICATION WITH THE RECEPIENTS OF RADIOGRAMS.

7) THOU SHALL DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO UTILIZE YOUR RADIO SKILLS, KNOWLEDGE, AND EQUIPMENT TO GET A RADIOGRAM FROM ITS PLACE OF ORIGIN TO AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE TO ITS FINAL DESTINATION. ONCE THE RADIOGRAM HAS ARRIVED AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE, THEN USE WHATEVER MEANS SEEMS BEST TO MAKE A FINAL DELIVERY. THOU SHALL BE CAREFUL NOT TO COMMIT ADULTERY WITH OTHER MODES OF COMMUNICATION.

8) THOU SHALL BE KNOWEDGABLE OF THE ARRL NTS MPG (METHODS, PROCEDURES, AND GUIDELINES). THOU SHALL FREQUENTLY REVIEW THE MPG.

9) THOU SHALL BE A "NET REGULAR"; ROUTINELY CHECKING-IN TO TRAFFIC NETS IN ORDER RELAY RADIOGRAMS OR TO RECEIVE RADIOGRAMS FOR LOCAL DELIVERY.

10) THOU SHALL NOT ONLY BE A TRAFFIC HANDLER, BUT THOU SHALL ROUTINELY ORIGINATE RADIOGRAMS FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE ENTIRE NTS. ALSO, YOU SHALL DO WHAT IS NECESSARY TO IMPROVE YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS THAT YOU MAY BE ABLE TO "STEP-UP" AND TAKE ON MORE RESPONSIBILITIES SUCH AS SERVING AS A NET CONTROL STATION OR NET LIAISON.

NTS PARADIGM SHIFT

(This was originally a post on the Radiogram Yahoo Group website. I have made corrections and edits here. Enjoy.)

I'm going to try to have a little fun this morning. So… if you are in one of those "taking everything seriously" moods, you should probably not read this post, go get another cup of coffee, and continue with whatever more important matter is on your plate for the day.

As I have had time to reflect upon the several posts within the group, as well as another half dozen or so groups that I follow, I have made some observations. The one thing that I have learned is that I cannot expect there to be a consensus concerning my observations… C'mon…. that is supposed to be funny. What I have learned here is that there is a very wide gap in the opinions concerning the role and the implementation of the NTS and traffic handling. When we spend our time fussing about the differences between e-mailing vs. snail mailing a radiogram, one thing becomes very clear: Among those that actively post comments, there doesn't seem to be a lot of "middle ground". Furthermore, there seems to be a lot!!! of passion from all involved.

Passion can be a bad thing when it is expressed by a mad man. But I am assuming that the players in this game are not crazy… everyone except me that is. I've been called crazy by some that know me the best, but that is a discussion for another group… Hi Hi. Passion is a GOOD thing when it is expressed by well meaning and polite people. Now, if we can just get all that passion working in the same direction… WOW!

As I looked back at the posting in various groups, there truly seemed to be more disagreement than agreement. As this seemed to also be the case here in the Radiogram group, at first I was a bit dismayed by this. My goal of trying to create an exchange for ideas on how to create more traffic seemed to rapidly deteriorate into a discussion on why "it" couldn't or shouldn't be done. New ideas were referred to as "schemes". And that crazy and thoughtless "200 Radiogram" guy… "What was he thinking????" Every village has an idiot. Right? (FYI… I'm that guy.)

The conversation became more of a history lesson of the failures, than a strategy for future success. So, I set out to try to see if I could figure out why there seemed to be such a disparity concerning that which is such a historic part of the Amateur Radio universe. And I must admit that I really reexamined my own participation in the NTS in light of some of the ideas expressed here in the group.

In my personal efforts to try to bring a little bit of fresh traffic into the system, were my efforts being misunderstood? I now have learned that apparently that was the case. So, I had to ask myself the hard question, "Was I doing more harm than good?" I suppose that the answer to that question is like a lot of the posts within the group… it just depends upon your perspective.

So… on to some of my specific observations, and remember… we're havin' fun this morning. So, lighten up and smile a bit.

Ideas and opinions seem to loosely follow a geographic pattern. 0's, 8's and 9's seem to have a similar view. If a Radiogram is being delivered to a SK, this is the group that seems to be able to deal with it in the most positive way. 4's and 5's tend to lean in a likewise direction, yet they have a unique Southern hospitality that is unmistakable. If there is any group that I would want to offer a "correction" to something I have done on a traffic net, it would be the 4's and 5's. They are always so "polite"… the first time they correct you. However, the second time they have to point something out… well… it's kind of like taking a trip out behind the wood shed. Been there, done that, don't want to go there again. 1's, 2's and 3's seem to be very passionate and share a lot of common ideas. And then there are the 6's… The 6's are great. They seem to have their own sort of view of things. 6's have created their own particular NTS galaxy party. I wish I was a 6! As for 7’s… (I’m having fun here, so everyone smile…) There are only 32 stations in all of 7-Land, so it’s hard to reach them for an opinion.

Also, ideas and opinions seem to loosely follow a pattern based upon how long an individual has been involved in Amateur Radio. Those that are new to the game, like me, and have no experience handling traffic back in the good ol' days seem to see the NTS and radiograms differently than those who handled "real" radiograms. I have learned that experience is sometimes the BEST teacher… but sometimes, it is the most boring as well.

Now, let's put this all together. What do you get when you put a "new 8" with an "experienced 2"? A TRAIN WRECK! What do you get when you put a "veteran 0" with a "6"? A PARTY… Remember: Any 6 mixed with anything else is a party! What do you get when you put an "old 4" with someone from 1-land? It doesn't matter `cause the 4 will bring some good Southern Sweet Tea to the shindig. And OMG what to you get when you put a "new IT / digital geek 3" with a "CW 8"? Complete and total confusion. And lastly, what do you get when you put a MARS operator from any call district with anyone else? "Stand up straight, soldier! Suck that gut in! What's your call sign? I can't HEAR YOU!!!"

Here's my present conclusion, and I reserve the right to make future revisions. I realize as a newcomer to the ARRL party that I most certainly have not earned a place to offer any advice or suggestions… but, I'm going to anyway. We can all play around here on this group and others like it, but ultimately it is up to the ARRL to determine the future of the NTS. They alone have the capability and the credibility to do what needs done.

It is time for the ARRL to call for an NTS symposium for the express purpose of establishing a new… a COMPLETELY NEW paradigm for the NTS. This symposium must be made up of very positive and forward thinking operators pulled from our ranks. This positive and forward thinking qualification must be the foremost consideration above all other items on a person's Ham Radio resume. Also, each participant in the symposium must realize that everything they come up with will most likely be met with stiff opposition. They will be told 100 different reasons why "that will never work".

One thing that must be of utmost priority in the development of this new NTS paradigm is the establishment of a group of very radical "nothing is off limits" operators whose assignment would be to prepare an NTS plan for the "unthinkable" collapse of the national communication infrastructure, as well as the civil unrest that would most likely follow. This would include even subjects such as Shack Security and Stealth Antennas. A complete examination of how to expand and exploit 2 meter simplex networks should also be discussed.

Using the NTS during "typical" disaster type scenarios has probably seen its usefulness replaced by other technologies. We really need to focus on our "When all else fails" motto.

The old pattern for using the NTS as a "messaging" service is probably not in our future, yet should be developed as a "recreational" use of the NTS between Hams. I still believe that the time for Radiogram contesting has come. I know that there are those that strongly disagree, but I think it can and should be done. And I believe the ARRL should spearhead this endeavor.

Another thing would be to create a group of operators whose assignment would be the preparation and implementation of an NTS Promotion that would be rolled out nationally once it was completed. It seems to me that time has come for the NTS to come out of the shadows. We need a program to positively promote the work of the NTS. It seems utterly ridiculous to me that a new operator's first exposure to the NTS is a (I loathe this term) spamgram.

These are but a few of my ideas. As you are thinking about these… Format and send me a Radiogram with your thoughts. And if you are a "mover and shaker" in the ARRL, I am especially interested in your thoughts.

APPLES AND ORANGES

Apples and oranges are both fruit, but we all know they are not the same. Email, telephone, and amateur radio are all methods of communication, but they are not the same thing.

Over my time as a Radio Op, I have observed something that - IMHO - needs to be considered. I have never quite understood the frequent comparison of amateur radio communication, particularly Radiograms, to telephone and e-mail. To do so, in my mind, is an apple / oranges comparison. This can be demonstrated on several levels.

First of all, amateur radio is regulated. I will never get a Radiogram with an offer to purchase a product that promises to make me into a 25 year old stud! I will never receive a Radiogram that needs my credit card information in order to update my account. The content of email is basically unregulated; Radiogram content has boundaries.

Secondly, there is no test given for those wishing to participate in email or telephone communications. There is no study required. Not so with amateur radio. Furthermore, those that pass the Ham test are given a “call sign” which identifies them to one and all. There is no anonymity in amateur radio. Wouldn’t it be nice if email communicators would have to “identify” themselves? Imagine how email communications and telephone solicitations would change if every user’s home address was published.

Thirdly, and on this account it may necessary for us to disagree agreeably, while there may be some strange Hams out there… there are no strangers. We are all part of a huge club… a fraternity, if you will, that includes active operators, inactive, even SK’s. If you have a “call sign” you are no stranger to me; you are simply a friend I have yet to meet. It is impossible for me to receive a Radiogram from a stranger, third party originations notwithstanding; they are to me a fellow Ham. Likewise, it is impossible for me to send a Radiogram to a stranger…

If I send a Radiogram, to which I am hoping to receive a response from an Operator whom I do not know… How is that any different than me calling, “CQ, CQ. Any station, anywhere… Michigan QSO party, KD8LZB.” It seems as though we acknowledge one form of request for a response as permissible, yet consider the other illegitimate. I, for one, think that the time for “Radiogram Contesting” has come.

Lastly, there is a discipline and a courtesy that generally guides amateur radio communications. Only rarely do things get ugly. And serious offenders may very well have their privileges revoked. Certainly, that cannot be said for other forms of communication.

We all do a disservice to our hobby if we allow these comparisons to continue. It is a disrespect to the hard work and study that is required to be a Ham. It should offend us all to be put in the box of unregulated, undisciplined, fraudulent, and unscrupulous slime that is called e-mail / spam and telephone solicitations.

TRAFFIC "HANDLING" IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH

Handling Radiogram traffic is fun. However, let this be a warning: Sending, relaying, and receiving Radiograms can be addictive.

For many amateur radio operators, receiving and passing Radiograms on the National Traffic System is an enjoyable part of being a licensed radio operator. As I have noted before, and I am sure you are already aware, there are many ways for a licensee to enjoy our hobby. And, certainly each Op has the freedom to explore the many facets of this jewel in order to find that which most suits his or her individual tastes. But, for me, Radiograms have become my radio consort.

I must confess that I am now addicted… Not just to traffic handling... Oh no... I have become a QRNancy junkie. I am addicted to trying to receive radiograms at times of 20 over 9 static. I love it. I can’t get enough of it. Let others pass traffic when conditions are clear, but please let me do so when conditions get bad… really bad. I find myself enjoying the hobby most when I am setting at my radio desk with headphones on, eyes closed, my pen resting on a fresh legal pad ready to scribble the barely discernible fragments of a distant voice… concentrating… lost in the world of invisible movements of sound through the atmosphere. It is for me, radio heaven. There is for me a sweet sense of victory when I am able to recognize a distant voice… to be able to distinguish the broken phonetic letters… to decipher the message. I feel as though I have beaten the radio demons when I can respond with, “QSL. I roger message number… !” Yes, indeed; passing and (even more so for me, receiving) radiogram traffic is both fun and personally rewarding.

But… Why is there always a butt!? I have to own up to the fact that, if I am always a taker and never a giver, then I am a selfish lover… I am a participant in a one-way relationship. If my only contribution to the NTS is as a receiving/relay station, then I have failed in my fair part of the relationship. The NTS cannot survive unless stations are willing to be givers/senders. I must be willing to accept my equal responsibility to put something into the system, if I desire for the same to survive.

It would be an interesting statistic to determine what percentage of the daily traffic volume is sent by… let’s say… the top 20 sending stations nationwide. What percentage of traffic is sent by the top 50 sending stations nationwide? My guess is that those figures would be shocking.

I am making it my personal goal to not be just a promoter of simply traffic handling; but rather, a promoter of traffic sending. It has been my observation that there are more than enough handlers in the NTS… senders, on the other hand, are a scarce commodity. We must promote sending… None of us can expect the NTS to remain healthy, if we are takers only and never givers.

Imagine how much traffic could be generated if every Ham Grandparent were to send original birthday greetings to their grandchildren. Imagine how many graduates would enjoy receiving a Congratulations Radiogram from a friend. There are endless opportunities for every Ham to send Radiograms throughout the year. Why not send a Radiogram today?

PHONETIC IMPROFECIENCY: A SUGGESTION FOR THE ARRL

Using proper ITU phonetics well takes practice. It’s a fact. Using correct phonetics is an acquired skill, and it takes much repetition to both send and receive words phonetically.

You probably have heard the axiom: Practice makes perfect. That is quite simply, not true. Practice DOES NOT make perfect. Practice makes permanent. Practice something the wrong way and you will tend to do it less than perfectly. Furthermore, you will tend to continue to do it poorly. And… When and if the decision is made to do it correctly, you will find it more difficult to fix the errors because… Practice makes permanent. In order to use proper ITU phonetics, a radio operator must at all times avoid using incorrect phonetics. Right?

Well, I’m not so sure. The short answer is of course, yes. However, while I certainly would agree that a good radio operator should always avoid using non-standard phonetics, I learned something recently while I was serving as a NCS for a Local Traffic Net.

I was cruising along very comfortably taking check-ins when one of our local guys, whom I know to be a very proficient operator, checked in with a Foxtrot Zanzibar Tijuana… What???!! I recognized the voice, so I knew who it was… But… My brain went into a sudden state of confusion, and my pen seemed to be overtaken by some strange Ouija board force as it left an unintelligible scrawl across my up-until-that-moment fairly neat Net Roster page.

Some of the Net regulars, along with me, got a chuckle out of this “severe breach” of “proper net procedure”. How could such a well trained operator fall off of the correct Net discipline wagon? Everyone knows there is to be no “clowning around!! This is serious training!!! Well... most of the time; HI HI. Later that evening… sometime after the Net was closed, as I was considering my own incompetence, the fact of which allowed me to be so easily knocked off balance by a little bit of unexpected phonetics, my mind went back to Field Day 2010.

Every station was coming to the Traffic Net with radiograms; hoping to score a few more points. The problem was that all of our normal “thru” traffic handlers were out of town. So… not only was I the only person on the Net able to take the “thru” messages, but I was also the NCS. I assured all stations that I would take their traffic if they would just be patient… and they were, and I did. It was a long night.

But, the thing that I most remember was that the vast majority of the outgoing traffic was being brought by stations that did not normally handle radiogram traffic. Likewise they were not at all proficient in using correct ITU phonetics. The result: I had to deal with a multitude of strange and unfamiliar Tijuanas, Kilowatts, Japans, Marys, Bobs, and Igloos.

Here is what I have learned. The ARRL has its team of silent “Observer” stations whose task it is to monitor frequencies for errors; right? Well, I think that a team of operators should be recruited to go out into TrafficNetLand with the mission of purposely using incorrect phonetics… to make errors. Why? To keep guys like me from becoming lazy. To keep guys like me on my toes. To keep guys like me proficient in handling traffic coming from stations manned by ops that are not familiar with standard phonetics. To give guys like me the opportunity to take traffic from stations that in the pressure of E-COM conditions won’t know a Tango from a Tijuana… a Bravo from a Boulevard. We need a dedicated official ARRL team of Confusers. Where do I send my suggestion?

All of this is to say: Thanks to my Foxtrot Zanzibar Tijuana friend. Thank you for making me aware of my weakness. Thanks for waking me up!

OMG!!!

What has happened to communication? What has happened to simple, plain, spoken language? I realize that language is a fluid and moving reality. I am aware that each period of time is marked by its unique adaptation of language. New words are created, while others lose favor. Dictionaries need to be routinely updated to keep up with the changes in usage and understanding of vocabulary. But… What has happened to uncomplicated, simple, coherent language?

A few years ago, I was speaking to a group of parents. They were shocked when I began to explain the meaning of the letters: POS, WTF. Their teenagers were using a new language… a new vocabulary. This method to communicate to each other was a natural response to the new technologies being offered. While the use of acronyms is certainly nothing new, I would suggest that we are experiencing a major change in way we will communicate for years to come. IHMO, some of us, like me, if we are unwilling to acquire this new verbiage, are on the verge of experiencing that classic piece of celluloid eloquence from “Cool Hand Luke”: “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”

Each organization has its own unique acronyms. The military has both its unique official and unofficial abbreviated vocabulary… including everything from NCO to FUBAR. The sphere of business likewise, has its share of acronyms: CEO, CFO, and TGIF. Each vocation, each hobby, every activity has it own unique abbreviated language. Certainly included in this list is Amateur Radio. We have our own formal and informal abbreviations… everything from QNI and QSL, to XYL and 73… Oh, I almost forgot… the ARRL.

However, NOTHING prepared me for what I was about to experience when I began the required studies for membership in the Wayne County, Michigan, ARPSC. OMG!!!!!

One of the identified problems that became clear as a result of 9/11 was that a multitude of government agencies were not communicating and cooperating with each other. The conclusion was formed that if there had been a single, centralized, and shared database, not only might have the attacks been prevented, but our response to the catastrophic disaster could have been greatly improved. As a result, the government responded with yet another agency tasked with the job of creating a system which would enable many different agencies and jurisdictions to better cooperate in the event of a large scale attack or disaster. That agency was The Department of Homeland Security (DHS), which in turn, through the already established Federal Emergency Management Administration (FEMA) created the Emergency Management Institute (EMI) which provides online education to all interested parties.

OMG!!!! So, I needed to take a couple of tests. No big deal… that is, until I went to FEMA’s EMI website. OMG!!!! If the desire of DHS was the creation of a simple, uncomplicated system which would facilitate the synchronization of multiple agencies, resources, and assets into an expeditious and effectual apparatus from which to respond to a crisis… In the famous words of the “Lost in Space” ROBOT: “Danger, Will Robinson. Danger… This does not compute.” Nowhere have I ever encountered such a multitude of snarled, intertwined, convoluted, incongruent nonsense. I have no idea how much time and tax payer dollars were wasted in the development and production of this project, but dare I say that if we are trying to reduce the over $14 TRILLION national debt… Never again should we allow a government agency to try to simplify ANYTHING!!

If we thought that a well north of 2000 page Health Care bill was a monstrosity… Well, it is a pimple on a gnat’s backside in comparison to the thousands upon thousands of pages of unintelligible, organizational dung known as the NIMS and the NRF. These projects appear to be more interested in job titles and flow charts than getting the job done. They demand that cooperating organizations use plain English, yet all of the administrative and operational documentation is filled with incoherent alphabet-soup gibberish. Nothing proves my point more clearly than in the overuse of acronyms... ICS, NIC, HSPD - 5, 7 and 8, NGO, IAP, EOC, ICP, MACS, MAC, DOC, PIO, JIC, JIS, CSG, DCO, DSCA, EMAC, ESF, IMT, DRC, HSEEP, IMAT, JTF, NCTC, NDMS, NJTTF, SFLEO… ad infinitum. One of FEMA’s EMI study courses features an Appendix with 34 different acronyms; another 22.

I will complete my studies. I will do what is required for membership in the Wayne County ARPSC. I will gladly play along, and fulfill whatever specific assignment that I may be asked to accomplish. However, I can’t imagine that I will ever be convinced that this organizational monstrosity created by the government will in any way whatsoever be the cause of a prompt and proper response to a crisis.

We all witnessed the appalling and illogical response of the government to the BP Oil Spill Crisis in the gulf. The basics principles outlined in NIMS and NRF which call for local control and simplicity were clearly not applied to this crisis. Why would we believe that things should be any different in the next disaster? We have all witnessed the alarming failures, the nonsensical strategies, and the unconstitutional invasions of privacy that are commonplace within the daily work of the TSA. Why should we think that FEMA will operate differently?

And yet, one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me as a Ham came from a TSA Agent. I was traveling with my 2 meter Go-Box through Detroit Metro Airport, and as you might well imagine, my equipment caught the attention of the Airport Security. Two Agents pulled me and my gear aside and asked me to “open” my box. As they peered inside, the older of the two looked up and with a smile responded, “Looks like we’ve got a MacGyver here.” I’m not sure if it was meant as a complement or insult, but it proves my point.

At the end of the day… what matters most is PERSONAL preparedness, not GOVERNMENTAL preparedness. It seems to me that at the very heart of Amateur Radio beats the rhythm of personal preparedness. Those of us in the Amateur Radio community must always be ready to guard and preserve the very thing that enables us to respond “when all else fails”, and that is NOT some mutant Godzilla (think: HSPD -5… think: NIMS and NRF), whose gigantic size and inherent clumsiness ultimately becomes its greatest weakness. But rather, it is the importance of the individual Ham Operator and his quirky, homebrew, MacGyverish compilations of antennas and radio gear.

So… After having completed over a dozen EMI courses, my conclusion is this: If FEMA, and the NRF and MIMS gets any praise at all… it should be from their basic guiding principal that all emergency response begins at the lowest possible level: the individual. In that one point, I couldn’t agree more.

SPAMMUNITION

Everyone knows what spammunition is. It is ammunition used by the military and police for training purposes. You say you’ve never heard that terminology before… that it doesn’t make any sense. Well, I agree with you. But some ham radio ops do not… Taking into consideration the derogatory way in which they use the term, spamgrams, which is given to commonly sent / received radiogram traffic, such as those which wish hams a happy birthday. Or, perhaps those messages that are friendly reminders of upcoming license expirations.

I may not have the strongest signal in the pile up, but I think I know what the term spamgram is intended to imply. It is intended to somehow suggest that many of the radiograms relayed on traffic nets are nothing better than the annoying unsolicited emails that we receive each day that promise to make us rich, or young, or attractive. I would like to point out that there is a clear difference between a lie that promises to make me into a 20 year old stud, and a stranger wishing me a happy birthday.

I will admit that I haven’t been around this game very long, but I’ve been around long enough to, on a couple of occasions, get sucked into the drama that some would like to create concerning that which is a prevalent part of the normal daily load of radiogram traffic. And to be honest with you… I just don’t get it. Some guys really get fired up about it, and you can color me stupid if you want, but I just don’t get it.

I have had more than ample opportunity to listen to what most hams call rag-chewing. Most of it is harmless and generic chatter between stations. I would guess that the ARRL probably has data on this, but my unscientific observation would conclude that most rag-chewing is about ham radio stuff… antennas, radios, nets, antennas, contests, tuners, amps, antennas, towers, power supplies, antennas... mostly, antennas. Next in line would probably be the weather, then ham festivals… then the last 10% would be a mix of just about anything you can imagine.

My first point here is that it is all voluntary. Every discussion, every subject… it’s all voluntary. I may participate. I may just listen. Or, I can keep scanning for something different. Whatever the case may be, each station voluntarily decides what they want to do.

Likewise, it is the same with how any ham chooses to respond to the National Traffic System. I’ve both received and passed hundreds of radiograms, and not one time… I repeat… never has anyone forced me to participate. I can or not participate at my pleasure. It is all voluntary.

Secondly, none of the voluntary rag-chewing does anything to help protect and preserve the limited and precious “air spectrum” that we are allowed to use. On the contrary the passing of radiogram traffic is directly connected by a calculation that bean-counters in Washington D.C. measure in dollars and cents to a value that is placed in direct competition with other businesses and organizations for “radio spectrum”. And, as I understand it, the economic law of supply and demand is forcing that value higher and higher as more and more people are vying for the same limited space.

So, it would seem to me that, if for no other reason, those who currently oppose “spam-grams” would do a great deal of good for themselves and our common enjoyment of this hobby, if they would “join” us instead of opposing us. It is kind of like those who oppose hunting because they love animals… It has been proven many times over that the best thing they could do to protect animals is to buy a hunting license. Do you want to promote animal conservation? Buy a hunting license. The largest source of money that is used for the protection of animals comes directly from license revenue. So as distasteful and contradictory as that may seem to some people, the logic cannot be denied.

So, for those of you that hate spamgrams, if you love ham radio… if you want to preserve the hobby… the most logical, albeit personally repugnant thing you can do is create and send as many spamgrams as you possibly can. Nothing else you can do for the preservation of Amateur Radio will be easier done or reap as much personal long term gain. It is quite simply the most logical thing you can do.

My third and final reason for sticking my neck out on this issue is, for me, the most important of all. And that is the “spammunition” argument. Day after day, those who serve us in the fields of law enforcement and the military train again and again for the day when it becomes necessary for them to actually unholster their weapons.

They create elaborate test ranges to simulate the kind of blind chaos that may very well be the deadly reality they face on the streets and upon the battlefields. They drill… they train… they shoot up box after box of ammunition because… they all know that the day after day boredom that is so very typical will certainly be shattered by the cacophony of the live-fire gun battle. It is not a matter of if… but when it will come. And, their lives depend upon how consistently they trained for exactly this type of moment.

The reality is that the officer who used up the most spammunition gets to go home at the end of the gunfight and hug his wife and see his kids grow up. No one who escapes a real life gunfight goes home and says to his wife: “I really regret all that ammunition I wasted on the firing range.” And mark this: When the time comes that you use your skills – skills honed by the night by night boredom of a typical Traffic Net – to relay life saving information out of or into a disaster area, you won’t be thinking that all those repetitive ARL SIXTY YOUR BIRTHDAY messages were illegitimate or wasted.

There is no deception in radiogram traffic. Is not the vast overwhelming majority called Routine? However… and this is my most important point of all… it is not a matter of “if”, but rather “when” the time will come when “all else fails” and the Amateur Radio National Traffic System will be the ONLY system still standing. And this simple truth will rule that day: The ham radio op that handled the most spammunition will win.

I have made friends with stations all over America. My hope would be that none of us will ever have to use our traffic handling skills in a time of crisis; however, though no one talks about it… we all know that the time is coming… and when it does, we will be ready. I have learned their voices… I have learned the cadence and the style of their sending traffic… I have learned to interpret their accents and dialects. I have learned how to pick their voices out of the noise… out of the static crashes. I am ready… and so are they.

For those of you that enjoy handling traffic… Do everything you can to handle as much as possible. Make a point of seeking out difficult conditions in which to operate. Don’t wait for band conditions to improve. If possible, intentionally make your job more difficult. Every once in a while, move off frequency a bit as you receive traffic. Hunt out a distant station to which you can relay traffic. If you hear a difficult relay taking place, copy it down as if you were the receiving station; you may need to act as a "stand in the middle relay"... be prepared. Plus it is good training. Don't be afraid of delivering a message that turns out to be an SK. This too is good training. What kind of messages do you think you might very well have to deliver in a real life disaster situation?

Do everything you can to be the best you can be… and be certain of this: the day will come when your traffic handling skills will be highly sought out… most likely by the very ones who were the most critical of our Traffic Nets. And it will be then… that you will smile a little private grin… and then you will do what you trained to do: you will be a public servant. You will, with integrity, professionalism, promptness, and accuracy, serve the public good.

DUB’YA DEE TO WHY PEE… A new trick to keep voice transmission rates at a reasonable copy speed.

I am not so far from my first days on the radio that I have forgotten some of those initial experiences. For example: I well remember my first several nights trying to check into my local Traffic Net. Nervous Sweat and Frustration were my constant companions. It took me several days to first figure out that the repeater required a “tone” input… and then (more frustration), to determine how to manipulate the menus on my 2 meter rig accordingly.

However, long before I ever checked in to that Net, all I did was listen. For many nights, I would simply listen; nothing else… just listen. I was allowing my ears, or more correctly, my brain to become accustomed to a brand new language. This new “radio” language was filled with new terms, abbreviations, acronyms… I had to learn a new “foreign” language. So, I just listened.

After many weeks, with a new legal pad of paper on my lap, I began to write/copy everything I heard. If a radiogram was being sent, I used blank radiograms that I had produced on a copier. I don’t know how many messages I copied, but I am confident that it was many dozen. I was handling traffic long before I handled traffic.

One of the most difficult to copy were call signs. It was hard enough when I heard them spelled phonetically; but, trying to do it without the help of phonetics was impossible. All I heard was: KATE BE OATEE or INDY ATE JAY ESSO, or KAYBE ATE O CUTIE, or DUB’YA DEE TO WHY PEE… And I felt good about getting even that close! But most of the time, all I got was: K$##%%8QX*&!!!

One other thought: If you have an FX in your call, be careful... To the untrained ear, at best it comes out Fecks… but sometimes, it comes out F*cks !!! So, for example: N8FXD comes out NATE F*CKS DEE!!! I am certain that the FCC does not approve… Hi Hi.

But, despite feeling completely overwhelmed I pressed on… night by night… listening and writing.

Today, hundreds of radiograms later, I still sometimes get frustrated with copying traffic. The reason: varying voice delivery rates. There are some traffic ops, from whom I receive radiograms, that cause me to begin to sweat even before they begin sending. Why? Because I know what is coming… Buddy, you better get your pencil sharpened and ready. (Actually, I use a ball point pen. I find it faster.) Their delivery speed is darn near reading speed. And, reading speed is not good copy speed… unless perhaps, you are typing your received messages. I know with CW ops that sending speed in something of which everyone is well aware. Well, I am here to say, it is also very important with Voice/Phone operations.

As I result, when the day came that I began to pass traffic, I made a conscious effort to be aware of my “voice” sending rate. I’d like to think that I continue that awareness yet today. I still find myself drawing my finger across every word of a message, while imagining myself writing it as I speak it.

Today, however, I was reading again the ARRL NTS Methods Practices and Guidelines and I came across this suggestion:

A useful trick to overcome the natural tendency to speak too rapidly is to say a group or phrase, pause, spell it to yourself as though you were writing it, and continue when you visualize that the receiving operator is also finished. KC3Y, Maryland Slow Net NM, teaches actually writing it out while voicing it.

Wow!! Why didn’t I think of that? KC3Y’s method is brilliant. I am definitely going to keep this in mind. If ever I am called upon to work in a high Pucker Factor situation, I may very well pull this out of my bag of tricks to insure that, in the pressure of E-COM operations, I keep my sending rate down to copyable speeds.

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